{"id":239,"date":"2017-10-15T01:13:50","date_gmt":"2017-10-15T01:13:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/?p=239"},"modified":"2017-11-26T06:41:28","modified_gmt":"2017-11-26T06:41:28","slug":"stay-with-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/blog\/stay-with-god\/","title":{"rendered":"Stay with God"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI am so sorry Maddox but mommy has to go and cry up in her room for a little bit,\u201d I said to my 3 year old trying to explain why we had to leave the park unexpectedly. He really wanted to stay, but I just wanted some privacy to shed my tears because they were coming whether I wanted them to or not.<\/h4>\n
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It\u2019s been one month, one month to the day actually since we\u2019ve left our home and moved 1\/2 way across the world from South Carolina to Kona. It was also the second day in a row I had broken down crying. Yesterday I barely held it together in the cafeteria. Some days I feel like I \u201chave it together\u201d whatever that\u2019s supposed to mean, but most days I don\u2019t. Most days it\u2019s just really hard.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a whole month. I feel like I should be adjusted already. I\u2019m a pretty adaptable person. I mean I\u2019ve lived sleeping my nights on a futon in a tiny room in Mexico for 2 months with Calvin. We even had the tiniest lumpy pillows that ever existed. We still laugh to this day about why in the world we didn\u2019t just buy new pillows!<\/p>\n

But this.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is new. New feelings, new levels of discomfort. If I based my decisions on feelings versus trying to follow the Lord in obedience, I would already be back home in my house that has AC and my kids have their own rooms and I\u2019m baking pumpkin pie and eating apple crisp and wearing jeans. Yeah because I haven\u2019t worn jeans since our plane ride here. Jeans would be nice.<\/p>\n

I find myself with unanswered questions. Is it my hormones that are causing these ups and downs? Is it the transition? Is it spiritual warfare? A mixture of the above? I am not really sure. All I know is that I am uncomfortable. And I\u2019m crying. Thank you Lord for sunglasses.<\/p>\n

And it doesn\u2019t make sense because we live in one of those most beautiful places in the world. Hawaii really is gorgeous with the pinky creamsicle colored sunsets and the endless blue-green sea. We have an amazing Christian community around us too.<\/p>\n

Like seriously some incredible people living right next door. Not like across the street next door but step outside our door and there is their door, because we live on a Ywam base in what used to be an old hotel. So…I should probably be okay right? Like why don\u2019t I have it together? That\u2019s what I tell myself. What is going on?<\/p>\n

In my heart of hearts I know it\u2019s not about where I am or what\u2019s going on around me but it\u2019s about WHO HE IS and what He wants to do in me. And that’s where the challenge is. Sometimes I just find myself wanting to stay in my self pity just a few moments longer, stay sad and feel sorry for myself. So strange, I know. Or maybe you\u2019ve been there? Please, tell me I\u2019m not the only one.<\/p>\n

I know even in the midst of unanswered questions that choosing to trust Jesus is the best choice. Really it\u2019s the only choice. The only one that will lead me to the place of peace that my heart longs for. The place of rest that my soul is crying out for.<\/p>\n

\"Old
Old Airport Beach Kona by Calvin Hanson<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As much as I just want to quit I know that really isn\u2019t an option if I want to experience the fullness of what He wants to bring. I know there has to be more. I\u2019m holding on to truth. I love this from the Psalms 27:13-14 MSG:<\/p>\n

“I\u2019m sure now I\u2019ll see God\u2019s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don\u2019t quit. I\u2019ll say it again- stay with God.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

I so wish I could end this blog happily like I am handing you a gift wrapped with a gold bow on top, and then you open it and there is an adorable puppy inside. And then you\u2019re like aww, you shouldn\u2019t have! But I\u2019m not there yet. So for now, this is what\u2019s here. Me still in the middle\u2026probably one of the hardest places to be. But I\u2019m not quitting yet\u2026I\u2019m going to stay with God.<\/p>\n

How about you? Have you been through something similar? I would love to hear from you!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI am so sorry Maddox but mommy has to go and cry up in her room for a little bit,\u201d I said to my 3 year old trying to explain why we had to leave the park unexpectedly. He really wanted to stay, but I just wanted some privacy to shed my tears because they […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":241,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[32,41,42],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=239"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/241"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theholisticpursuit.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}