“I don’t know how I am going to survive,” I said to Calvin. It was 3:30 am and not the first time we were woken up with a sick baby that night. It was also our 3rd night in a row with much disturbed sleep.
I lost track of how many times I had said that over the past 2 weeks here in Kona. I think I thought once we got here, we would be okay. Because even the getting here was a battle—changed flights due to Hurricane Irma; fears and doubts creeping in, anxious thoughts frequenting my mind.
But oh my goodness I feel like we have been in a small battle since arriving. From car troubles, to heat rash, sickness, and Ivory falling out of a baby swing—we have been hit. Coming to Kona was never in our plan. It was a shock when we felt the Lord drawing us back here.
We have transitioned more times than I can count over the last 10 years but this one has by far been the hardest…emotionally, physically, spiritually.
I like that Kris Vallotton says if it’s not good then it must not be the end. Because God works out all things for the good of those that love Him. (Rom 8:28) I love how the message says it, “That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” So we are definitely not at the end. We’re in the middle. Or maybe even the beginning. And that’s a hard place to be.
So many unanswered questions, unexpected things happening, rhythms trying to be worked out. How does one get through this kind of time? How do I not only survive but even thrive?
One day at a time. Really. That’s what I have found. And a whole lot of trust.
Choosing to trust God even when I don’t have the answers and when I don’t see the end. Choosing to be okay with where I am at even though it’s not where I want to be. Choosing to say yes to the friendships put in our path. Choosing to do my best to focus on the good and be positive even though negativity wants to creep into every turn.
I really am learning that Jesus is the only sure foundation and that all other ground really is sinking sand. I saw this flower bud on the ground the other day and I tried to open it and it just fell apart. I started to think how we have to stay attached to the tree to open, to flourish (John 15) and also how in His timing He will cause us to bloom.
It’s nothing we can force on our own but we really have to allow Him to open us. So that is my prayer and my hope. That in the midst of this transition He would allow me to bloom, in His time.
Are you in a transition? Let us know how it’s going for you and what you are learning below or on our facebook page.